Definition: Jake-off - v. 1. To workout or exercise. 2. To eat nutritious foods. 3. To engage in healthy behavior.
n. 1. A client of the Jakeover. 2. A healthy, fit individual.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Other meals do not boost your metabolism as much.
Translation: I start my day by Jaking off first thing in the morning. It's all downhill from there.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Translation: I don't need to see anyone, as long as I have my daily Jake-off sessions.
I've stretched you out for the past 15 minutes, now you need to stretch out my hamstrings.
Translation: I've Jaked you off long enough, now it's your turn to return the favor.
I jogged this morning, lifted weights during lunch, took a kickboxing class after work, and did yoga before bed.
Translation: I Jaked off 4 times in one day. New record!
Even though my trainer worked me out at the gym today, I couldn't help but stop for a slice of pizza on my way home.
Translation: She Jaked me off and I did the walk of shame all the way back to my place.
Somebody tell that guy with the six pack to eat a hot dog.
Translation: Eat sh*t you f**king Jake-off!
While having dinner, my date pushed the bread aside and secretly handed me some celery sticks.
Translation: My date just Jaked me off under the table.
I injured my right hand, so I've been focusing on kettlebell training with just my left hand.
Translation: I Jake off with my left hand now. I'm getting pretty good at it.
I got one of those massages where the girl walks on your back in order to relieve tension from heavy lifting. It felt very different from any other massage I've had.
Translation: Some girl Jaked me off with her feet. It was kinda weird.
I used a diet tip that I learned from watching Ellen, and it worked.
Translation: You'll never believe this, but Ellen Degeneres just Jaked me off.
Without core strengthening, you will never get the results that you want. Rotational movements with medicine balls should be added to your routine.
Translation: If you don't play with my balls while you're Jaking me off, we're going to be here all night.
~ Body Jakeover, Have you Jaked-off today?
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