Everybody Loves Santa Clause....But Nobody Wants to Bang Him

Yup, it's the holidays, which means Thanksgiving feasts, Christmas goodies, endless booze and leftovers for days, coupled with a hectic schedule and lack of exercise.  This is the perfect recipe for gaining weight, and ultimately, coming up with the same New Year's resolution, year after year, to lose all the weight you gained.

Now, don't get me wrong here.  I too understand the importance of good food, family and friends.  And, I too tend to have a busy holiday schedule which interferes with my normal workout regimen.  Therefore, I too tend to put on a couple unwanted pounds during the holidays.  So, no one is telling you to take time away from your friends and family during the holidays to run a hundred miles, and no one is telling you to not eat all of the foods that bring your family and friends together during these precious times.  However, here's an interesting concept that you may want to try this holiday season.  It's called, "Stop Eating So Damn Much."

Proven by scientists, nutritionists and personal trainers all around the globe, it has been proven that if you simply stop eating so damn much, you can significantly decrease the amount of weight you were to gain if you were to eat vast amounts of food at a time.  This method is particularly effective during the holiday season, because while a little weight gain during the holidays is inevitable due to the constant intake of high calorie foods, by not eating so damn much, you can actually lessen the amount of calories being consumed, while still enjoying those foods that you love, just in smaller portions.  Please observe the following formulas for reference...

1 slice of pumpkin pie (320 calories) x Eating 3 slices in one sitting = Consuming 960 calories
3 slices of pumpkin pie (960 calories) + Stop eating so damn much (-2 slices) = Consuming only 320 calories

3,600 calories (1 pound gained) x Stuffing your face = 360,000 calories or 10 pounds gained
3,600 calories (1 pound gained) x Stop eating so damn much = 10,800 calories or only 3 pounds gained

This is a fairly foreign concept to many Americans, but I urge you to give it a try next time you're at the dinner table.  While it may just seem flat out strange to many, it's not all that complicated, in that you simply stop eating once your stomach tells you that it's full.  This feeling of being full triggers a signal to your brain, at which point, you make the conscientious decision to stop eating so damn much.  If you are having trouble with this method, refer back to the formulas above, and with a little practice, you can successfully prevent yourself from being mistaken for Santa Clause at the mall again.  Happy Holidays!

~ Body Jakeover, GET SEXY
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No if's, and's....only butts.

In the 90's, it was all about the boobs.  These days, it's all about the butt.  So you have a small chest?  Thick calves?  Bad personality?  Third nipple?  No problem.  If you have a killer butt, anything is forgivable.  So ladies, this one is especially for you.  Let's get you the butt you've always wanted.  And if you were already blessed with a great butt, let's make it even better...

First, let's examine what makes a great butt.  Is it the size?  The shape?  The firmness?  Yes, yes and yes.  However, there is more to a great butt than just the butt itself.  Let me explain.  While the butt itself may be great, it may not look that great if the ratio of butt to body is off.  Observe....

See what I mean?  A great butt is a two part process.  Working the actual butt is only one aspect of making a butt look spectacular.  In order to make your butt truly POP, you'll want to work that waist too.  Slimming in your waistline will accentuate your butt, and for those who desire a rounder, fuller looking butt, a slim waist will give the optical illusion of just that, without adjusting the actual size of your butt at all.  Now let's take a look at how to achieve both a great butt, and a waistline to match....

Part 1 - The BUTT
Truly great butts are made of muscle.  Firm, tone, round, shapely muscle.  Butts comprised mainly of fat are for Juvenile music videos.  Variations of squats and lunges are the best exercises for targeting the gluteus maximus muscle, as shown below.  Start with your own body weight at 15-20 repetitions for sets of 3.  You can add some weight as you get stronger, building more muscle in your butt and thighs, should you want to add some mass.

Part 2 - The WAIST
The waist is a little trickier.  Core strengthening techniques are an effective method towards bringing the waistline in.  While there are copious amounts of core exercises you can do, for purposes of this post, we will focus specifically on the obliques, as these will have the most significant visual effect on your butt.  To target the sides, rotational movements like those shown below are great for slimming the waist, and you can even use a medicine ball for added resistance.  No need to go to heavy with the medicine ball though, as you will want to refrain from building your obliques too much and expanding your waistline.  Sets of 3, at 15-20 repetitions each, with a 5-10 lbs. medicine ball should suffice.

Get a butt to die for and the world will open new doors for you.  Sound superficial?  Possibly, but I don't make the rules of life, I just live by them.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go empty my wallet on a girl with a butt that inspired this post.


~ Body Jakeover, GET SEXY
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Speaking Jakeover Lesson #2 - Intermediate Level

Definition: Jake-off - v. 1. To workout or exercise. 2. To eat nutritious foods. 3. To engage in healthy behavior.
n. 1. A client of the Jakeover. 2. A healthy, fit individual.


Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Other meals do not boost your metabolism as much.
Translation:  I start my day by Jaking off first thing in the morning.  It's all downhill from there.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Translation:  I don't need to see anyone, as long as I have my daily Jake-off sessions.

 I've stretched you out for the past 15 minutes, now you need to stretch out my hamstrings.
Translation:  I've Jaked you off long enough, now it's your turn to return the favor.

I jogged this morning, lifted weights during lunch, took a kickboxing class after work, and did yoga before bed.
Translation:  I Jaked off 4 times in one day.  New record!

Even though my trainer worked me out at the gym today, I couldn't help but stop for a slice of pizza on my way home.
Translation:  She Jaked me off and I did the walk of shame all the way back to my place.

Somebody tell that guy with the six pack to eat a hot dog.
Translation:  Eat sh*t you f**king Jake-off!

While having dinner, my date pushed the bread aside and secretly handed me some celery sticks.
Translation:  My date just Jaked me off under the table.

I injured my right hand, so I've been focusing on kettlebell training with just my left hand.
Translation:  I Jake off with my left hand now.  I'm getting pretty good at it.

I got one of those massages where the girl walks on your back in order to relieve tension from heavy lifting.  It felt very different from any other massage I've had.
Translation:  Some girl Jaked me off with her feet.  It was kinda weird.

I used a diet tip that I learned from watching Ellen, and it worked.
Translation:  You'll never believe this, but Ellen Degeneres just Jaked me off.

Without core strengthening, you will never get the results that you want.  Rotational movements with medicine balls should be added to your routine.
Translation:  If you don't play with my balls while you're Jaking me off, we're going to be here all night.


~ Body Jakeover, Have you Jaked-off today?

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From Puff to Buff

Many non-Koreans that I ask usually don't know what I'm talking about when I say this, but ask any Korean person what happens when you eat ramen noodles before you go to bed, and they will surely tell you that you will wake up in the morning looking a little like this....

Why is that?  Answer:  SODIUM

Sodium, or salt, is a water retainer.  This means that when consumed, it causes your body to retain water, which can make you look puffy, especially when consumed in large amounts.   Lowering your sodium intake will reverse this effect, giving you a less puffy look, as your skin will look tighter with less water being retained.  Industry Secret:  Before competitions and photo shoots, bodybuilders and fitness models will eliminate all sodium from their diets weeks in advance, in order to get that super ripped look (They don't always walk around looking THAT cut).  Now, I'm not saying that anyone needs to go to this extreme, especially since a little salt is good to have.  I am just saying that excess amounts of sodium can lead to MMS, or "Marshmellow Man Syndrome", and is overall just not healthy.  

This is also a great tip if you are trying to get that extra boost when trying to look good for a certain occasion.  For instance, if you plan to be on the beach, fit into a wedding dress, look good in a revealing outfit at a party, or just want your significant other to allow you to keep the lights on for once while you're making love, you will want to look your best, and laying low on the salt for that week, or even the day of, will help out.  As an added bonus, potassium helps to extract the water from your system, so eating bananas or even taking potassium supplements will help give you that extra edge as well when it comes to the tight skin look.  Take this girl for example....

                                             Before                                                      After

After lowering her sodium intake and upping her potassium intake for just a couple weeks, she was able to make a drastic change!

Canned foods, instant meals, condiments, TV dinners, and pretty much anything that can go a long time without spoiling are some of the biggest culprits when it comes to excess levels of sodium.  Now maybe you don't care to give up your beloved ramen noodles or TV dinners for good, but I'm sure you can sacrifice them a day or two before the beach, right?  Remember, July 4th is right around the corner.  Make your country proud.


~ Body Jakeover, Potassium - Sodium = Sexy

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Not Getting Enough Sex? Maybe Some Sex Lines Will Help.

According to a recent, non-existent survey that I created in my head and that is based off of no real statistics whatsoever, 100% of women go crazy for visible "sex lines" on a guy. Never heard of the sex lines? Please see below...

These lines are also sometimes referred to as the "V-Line" or the "Y-Line".  There is no real technical term for them, or at least I haven't heard of one yet, but they are basically the lines that form where your lower abdominals connect to your hip flexors.  If you don't have them, my made-up survey will tell you that if you want every single woman on this entire earth to swoon every time you take off your shirt, you'll want to get them. So let's learn how.

In order to obtain the coveted sex lines, you have to focus in on the sex lines. This is hard for some, because it's in an area that not many people are used to focusing in on. Generally, the best way to focus in on the sex lines is to do exercises like hanging leg raises or reverse crunches, like so...

These types of exercises focus in on the lower abdominal region, as they are required to lift your legs.  Greater definition in your lower ab region will enhance the visibility of these lines, as they will accentuate the point where ab meets hip flexor. I like doing sets of 15-20 for 3 or 4 repetitions. You can also do these as much as everyday, as the muscles in your midsection don't need as much recovery time as other areas of your body. As your lower ab muscles increase in strength, you can challenge yourself by not letting your legs touch the ground on the reverse crunches, or not bringing them fully down on the hanging leg raises. It makes the exercise twice as hard, but you'll reap twice the benefits.

Lastly, while these exercises will help add to the definition of these lines, without a low body fat percentage, you will never be able to tell, because you will never be able to see them.  This is one of those rewards that is reaped as a result of healthy diet and regular exercise, which you can follow in my prior posts.  It's hard work, but it's well worth it in the end, as these lines seem to catch more attention these days than a six-pack itself.  Add the sex lines to your figure, and you will be compelled to buy jeans with a rise that is lower than standards after 2am. (Although, with your new sex lines, you shouldn't have to lower your standards for sex, right?)

~ Body Jakeover, GET SEXY - Lower Rise Jeans, Higher Standards
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Are You Skinny Fat?

Skinny Fat - [ski-nee-fat] - adj. 1. A term coined in the fitness industry to describe the physique of one who is both skinny and fat at the same time.
2. To have the frame and/or dimensions of what is considered "skinny" in modern society, despite the fact that your body is comprised mainly of fat, with little muscle to show.
3. To look great in a sweater, but transform into a sh*tbomb in a bikini.
Example - 1. Yo check out the muffin top on that girl in the size 2 jeans...straight up skinny fat, son!
2. See photo below:

Now being skinny fat isn't the worst thing in the world. There are certainly worse positions to be in, like just being fat. I mean, you can still wear the top fashions, the skinny jeans and the sexy heels, and many people are content with this, which is completely fine. But for those who strive for more, for those who know what it's like to feel hot on the dance floor until a guy starts dancing with you, only to get a handful of love handle, for those who want the show to START once beach time comes, as opposed to end, for those who felt great about themselves prior to reading this blog post, but now feel insecure because of assholes like me who write about this stuff, please read on...

So how do you go from being skinny fat to just being skinny? Well if you think about it, being skinny fat, when broken down into science, is no different than being fat, because your body fat percentage is higher than normal, with no significant muscle build. Therefore, the answer is, BUILD MUSCLE. Running is great for cardio and overall health, but running alone won't help you build much muscle, and a non-muscular body won't burn as many calories day-to-day as a muscular body. Resistance training, core strengthening and weight training should be added to your routine. Core strengthening and muscle building exercises like the plank, sit-ups, pushups, boxing, yoga, pilates, medicine ball training, bosu and stability ball training, resistance band training and weight lifting. These types of exercises, coupled with a diet high in protein, are what will get you that lean, tone and skinny (minus the "fat") look. Now girls, I know you're thinking to yourselves, "Well, I don't want to lift weights and build muscle because I don't want to get huge and bulky". Listen, guys lift hundreds and hundreds of pounds for hours on end, grunt it out at the gym, drink protein shakes and eat endless cans of tuna to get bulky muscles. If you lift little 5 pound weights for a few reps, you won't get overly jacked, I promise.

So what are you waiting for? Get your skinny fat ass off the couch and get to work!


~ Body Jakeover - Get Sexy
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Body Jakeover Abs Tip #124 - Grow Your Abs

Everyone has abs. Even this guy...

If you didn't have abs, you would't be able to stand and you would topple over. However, the problem is that most people can't see their abs because they are covered in a thick layer of flab. It's a bit of a shame to think that you have a great six pack under there, but no one can see it. It's kind of like covering up the Mona Lisa with a blanket. Well, in your track to a six pack, here is a tip in a continuous series that I will begin to sporadically write that will be dedicated to sculpting the stomach of your dreams.

Jakeover Abs Tip #124 - GROW your abs

The abs are just like any other muscle. If you work them out, they will get bigger. Once they get bigger, they become more visible. This is especially helpful for those who aren't currently walking around with a 3% body fat percentage. How? The bigger your abs are, the more raised they become, allowing them to push through the flab for greater visibility. Sure, if you weigh 300 pounds, this won't help you very much. But if you're kind of on the verge of a sixer, where if you're standing in the right lighting, and you flex so hard that you feel like you're about to take a crap, that they become somewhat visible, this will give you that extra "umph".

Now onto how to grow your abs. It's simple; treat them as any other muscle. If you want to grow your biceps, you do curls with heavy weights, right? So when you're trying to grow your abs, you'll want to take weight to your abs when you're doing ab work. You can start by doing abs on an incline bench, like so...

As your abs get stronger on the incline, you can gradually add weight to grow them. You can do this by simply grabbing a 10 lb. plate (which is what I recommend for beginners to start with), holding it across your chest, and progressing with your sit-ups. Carry enough weight so that you can comfortably do about 15-20 reps, for 3+ sets.

If you can get up to 25, 35 even 45 lbs. on the incline for this amount of reps, you're one step closer to counting to six.

Body Jakeover - GET SEXY

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Bad Genes Keeping You from Skinny Jeans? Boost Your Metabolism!

You've all done it before. You're watching the skinny girl or the ripped dude, as they shove pizza and fries into their mouths, not gaining a pound, and you look at them and think....."I f@*#ing hate you". How is it that they can eat whatever they want, and not gain a single pound, but if I have one french fry, I gain another ass cheek?

Quite simply, they may be blessed with a higher metabolism than you, which can be contributed to good genes. Sure, it's not fair, but that's just the way it is. If it makes you feel any better, metabolisms tend to slow down as we age, so many of those people that you hate may eventually get fat, and you can make fun of them later. So what can you do to avoid this? Well, maybe you don't have the best genes in the world, but here are some tips to help boost your metabolism to make it look like you do...

- EXERCISE: This is a given. 30 min., 3x a week is the bare minimum. The more you exercise, the higher your metabolism will be. Keep in mind though, that exercise alone isn't always enough to go eating whatever you want. There are fat people at the gym too.

- BUILD MUSCLE: Your body will burn more calories when maintaining a muscular figure, thus increasing your metabolism, even when you are not working out. Building lean/tone muscle will accomplish this, and you don't even have to get super jacked (although, why wouldn't you want to?).

- EAT BREAKFAST: Breakfast really is the most important meal, as it boosts your metabolism first thing in the morning, raising it for the day. If you eat your breakfast at your office desk, after you've already been awake for several hours getting ready and commuting to work, then it's too late to be considered breakfast, and it won't have the same effect. A good pick-up line to use at the club when talking to another healthy individual is, "So what should we eat for breakfast tomorrow morning?" Your chances of getting laid should increase.

- DRINK MORE WATER: The energy burning process of metabolism needs water in order to be effective. You've heard the 8 glasses a day rule, but who really keeps track of that? The Body Jakeover rule for water is.....pee clear.

- DON'T SKIP MEALS: A lot of people think that skipping meals and going longer periods without eating will help them lose weight. However, did you ever notice that a lot of people that say this are also kind of chubby? Taking nutrition advice from a chubby person is like taking financial advice from a bum. Eating consistently throughout the day will keep you energized and your metabolism will stay up. Five small meals a day is ideal (breakfast/lunch/dinner, with snacks in between). Obviously you will want to be eating healthy foods all day, as this doesn't work with hot dogs and pizza.

- GET YOUR B VITAMINS: B vitamins give you energy and help boost your metabolism. They also aid your body in metabolizing the foods that you eat. Some foods that are high in B vitamins are chicken, fish, nuts, bananas, potatoes, avocados and green leafy vegetables. You can also consider taking a B-Complex supplement, which will contain all of the essential B vitamins. An added bonus is that B-Vitamin supplements will turn your urine into a cool neon color when you first start taking them. Try it out and show your friends.

These are all easy things to do, and will make a world of difference. Making these little changes to your daily routine can help you get to that next level, and can also help cover you during those times that you slip in your diet and/or your fitness regimen. Also, as you get older, these tips become increasingly important, because if you don't work to boost your metabolism, you will be left to peruse your Facebook photos from years past, only to wonder why your face seems to take up more camera space every single year. Go ahead and look at your old photos right now..........see what I mean?

Body Jakeover - GET SEXY

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Success Stories

"I started The Body Jakeover initially to lose a few pounds before my birthday. I could see results within just two weeks! My clothes fit better and I was able to fit clothes I hadn't worn since college. People were noticing my new figure and that was exciting. It gave me a new confidence.

Throughout the plan I was never hungry; I ate as much as I wanted to, but I was eating the right things and that made all the difference. I simply cut processed foods, refined carbohydrates and sugars out of my diet, and watched the pounds come off. I lost 10lbs in just a few weeks. I had lost weight before by dieting and exercise but I could never manage to keep it off. But The Body Jakeover isn't a diet; it's a lifestyle, so the weight stays off!

The guidance you get on The Body Jakeover is second to none. If I wasn't sure if a certain food was conducive to my progress I could call Jake at any time of day or night and he was always there to help. My progress was important to him and he was a great mentor. He really knows his stuff and he walks the walk.

Overall this was a great experience. I lost the weight, kept it off and I now have a healthier lifestyle. It was very simple and easy to get used to. I would recommend The Body Jakeover to anyone who wants to lose weight, get in shape, or just be healthier. With Jake's help, anyone can do it."

~ Tuera C.


"After a month of the Body Jakeover workouts on my butt and thighs, I have to say I am impressed with my results. My butt is TIGHT and my thighs are RIGHT! Thanks Jake!

~ Janice M.


"In the course of a month and a half, I lost a whole pant size by following Jake's nutritional guidelines. Usually, I would go on crash diets and then just gain the weight back, but this is definitely a lifestyle change and not a crash diet. Thanks for all your help Jake!"

~ Rose K.

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Jakeover Grocery Shopping: If You Can Avoid the Nookie, You Can Avoid the Cookie

The grocery store is kind of like the last girl I dated - Incredible on the outside, but poison on the inside. What I mean by this is, she was absolutely gorgeous, but she also happened to be one crazy ass *****. What I also mean by this is, when you go into the grocery store, the outer isles are filled with the healthiest products, like meats, veggies, fruits, whole grains, eggs, etc., while the inner isles are typically filled with the unhealthy products, like candies, chips, cookies, etc. This all boils down to processed vs. non-processed foods. Essentially, non-processed foods are the foods that you want to eat, and processed foods are the foods that you want to avoid. This is because the more processed a food is, the more your body has to go into overdrive in order to digest it, which causes a surge in your insulin levels, raising your blood glucose levels, and we all know that any glucose (sugar) that is not burned off will eventually turn into......fat. Think of it this way...

Apple = Non-processed: You can pick an apple off of a tree and eat it.

Apple Pie = Processed: You cannot pick an apple pie off of a tree, because it has to go through a process to be made.

*Non-processed foods tend to be on the outer isles, because they are fresher and will spoil quicker than processed foods.

It's as simple as that. If you cut down on processed foods and eat more naturally, you will see pounds melt off in no time. Just avoid the inner isles at the grocery store like you would avoid a bat sh*t crazy girlfriend, and shop primarily on the outside. Remember, if you avoid it, you won't buy it, and if you don't buy it, you won't eat it.

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