Keep Your Resolution, Not Your Love Handles

The Never Ending Cycle:

January - You start out the year motivated. Your New Year's resolution is to finally lose weight and get into the best shape of your life.
February - You're hitting the gym hard, eating right, more determined than ever.
March - You're still going to the gym, but not as much as before, and you're sneaking in some french fries and cookies here and there because you feel you deserve it after working out so hard in January and February.
April - You forgot what your New Year's resolution even was because you're too busy trying to beat the lines at Shake Shack.
May - You've put on 10 pounds since New Year's, but with Summer right around the corner, you're now determined to lose it for the beach.
June - You've lost 5 pounds.
July - You've finally lost the 10 pounds you gained since New Year's, but really, losing the 10 pounds only brought you back to where you were prior to making your resolution, so you're still not satisfied with your appearance and you feel subconscious in a bathing suit.
August - You want to lose more weight, but the Summer fun has taken over and you are too busy partying and eating to hit the gym, gaining more weight.
September - You become determined again to lose weight, but the Summer is now over, so you immediately lose motivation and go to Burger King.
October - You stuff yourself with Halloween candy because you no longer give a f@#k.
November - You eat whatever you want since it's the holidays, and you curse the Body Jakeover, wishing physical harm upon me.
December - You tell yourself that you will stuff your face for the last time, and start fresh in the new year, putting on several more pounds.
January - You start the same cycle as last January, only now, you are even fatter than the previous year.

Sound familiar?

What's your New Year's Resolution? Let me take a guess. To lose weight? 9 out of every 10 people that I ask have that same resolution, year in and year out. Isn't it time to finally stick to that resolution in 2012, so that next year, you can finally devote your time and effort to a new resolution? Like learning a new language? Or sleeping with a black chick for the first time?

So how do you finally stick to your resolution this year? Now, I'm not going to bother with the basics for this post, like exercising regularly and eating right, as those are all givens that man has known since the beginning of time in order to stay in shape. The key here is MOTIVATION, and how to KEEP IT. In my opinion, staying fit is 2% diet, 1% exercise, and 97% mental. You lose the motivation, and the diet and exercise no longer exist. So how do you keep the motivation? Think about this...

LADIES, you walk into the club, the bar, the party, the bingo hall, and you're wearing a $300 pair of skinny jeans, or a new form fitting Givenchy dress. Heads turn, guys are drooling, girls are hating, you're feeling good, you're feeling sexy, and all the Facebook photos posted the next day look like they could be on the cover of Vogue magazine. Now ask yourself what tastes better, that, or a greezzzy slice of pizza?

GENTLEMEN, you go to the beach, take off your shirt, and everyone is forced to count to six. Guys are asking you for workout tips, girls are avoiding talking to you because they think you are full of yourself. But then, you talk to them and show them how cool and down to earth you are, and they feel they hit the jackpot because they found a ripped guy who is actually sensitive and intellectual. They leave their boyfriends and you enjoy many years of wild, passionate sex. Now ask yourself, does a cheeseburger really taste better than that?

Motivation. It's an engine that needs fuel, and if you don't fuel it, you might as well shop for larger jean sizes in advance for 2013. So this year, from January all the way until December, drop the hoagie and slurp up a nice bowl of confidence soup, minus the self-consciousness, and then ask yourself. What tastes better?

~ Body Jakeover - Know any cute black chicks?

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Keeping Your Muscles as Active as Your Social Life

NYC is all about fashion, but it should be all about fitness first. Why? Because it doesn't matter how much you spend on a Prada suit. If you're shaped like a pear, you're just going to be a pear in a Prada suit. At the same time, in cities like NYC, where so much is going on all of the time, it is especially difficult to maintain a continuous fitness regimen, and thus, difficult to maintain a killer physique. So, while you're trying to get or stay in shape, you may want your week to look like this:

Monday - Gym

Tuesday - Gym

Wednesday - Gym

Thursday - Gym

Friday - Gym

Saturday - Gym

Sunday - Gym

But in reality, any given week may end up looking more like this:

Monday - Stayed late at the office

Tuesday - Went out for a couple of drinks but it somehow turned into an all night booze fest til 5 in the morning

Wednesday - Too hungover to do anything

Thursday - Had to go to happy hour because that cute girl from work went, and stayed out all night despite never working up the courage to talk to her

Friday - Took a much less attractive girl out to dinner and spent the night at her house, and of course told all your buddies the next day that she was the hottest girl ever

Saturday - Figured that since the week is basically over, you'll get back to the gym next week, and justified being a bum all day and getting wasted at night

Sunday - Had plans to run in Central Park, but got a call from the unattractive girl to hangout, and you did, because you can't do any better

Sound familiar? Being in NYC, I too suffer from these types of weeks from time to time. However, if you find yourself in a time where the gym just never seems to make it into your schedule, there is something you can do to keep fit. Now I know you're thinking, F@*k that! I'll just take a break and get back into it next week! While taking a week off is fine every now and then, since you never know what the following week will bring in this city, you should try to keep your muscles ACTIVATED. The reason for this is, essentially, if you don't USE them, you will LOSE them. If this happens, over time, you may find that your former magazine cover body is now only fit for the radio, and you worked too hard for those muscles to let them slip away.

How can you stay activated? Example - If I can't get to the gym for a long period of time due to a hectic schedule, travel, etc., then I will give my muscles a good shock by knocking out 50-100 push-ups, or doing 20-30 pull-ups, or 100 sit-ups, or 100 lunges etc. While doing a some quick push-ups or squats is not enough to be considered a full workout and should not be depended on to keep muscles forever, it is enough to keep them active until the next time you can get to the gym. Doing some curls can activate your biceps, but you can also kill two birds with one stone by doing exercises like push-ups, which will activate both your chest and triceps, and pull-ups, which can activate both your back and biceps.

These exercises can be done anywhere, and can take as little as a few minutes. No excuses here, because no matter how busy your schedule is, if you have a few minutes to take a crap, you have a few minutes to bang out some push-ups. Think about that next time you're on the toilet....

~ Body Jakeover, Get Sexy

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Jakeover Math Class 101

Good morning class. Today you will receive a lesson in Jakeover Math 101.

Today's math lesson: Calculation of LEGS. This one is for the female students. So, let's start with the basics. I will share with you some knowledge that I inherited from my motherland, Korea. Why Korea you ask? Well, despite sounding stereotypical, Koreans are really good at math. So much so that many trainers in Korea even calculate sexy legs down into...what else? MATH. Now, how do legs and math go together? Well, it breaks down like this...

Legs are one of the sexiest features of a woman, agreed? You may think that having skinny legs is having sexy legs, but have you ever taken a good look at skinny, non-gym legs? For lack of a better simile, they can make a girl look like an ex-heroin addict. There is more to great legs than just being skinny. Like the rest of the body, they should be proportionate. Thus, I bring to you, the "The Golden Ratio"...

The Golden Ratio = 5:3:2

5:3:2 = Thighs (50cm), Calves (30cm), Ankles (20cm)

Formula: [(Exercise x 3 to 5 times per week) / (Healthy Diet) + Tape Measure] - Processed Carbs = Sexy Legs

Measure your legs with a tape measure. Thighs: 50cm, Calves: 30cm, Ankles: 20cm
Achieve this ratio and you have achieved sexy ass legs. Take it from Korea's Tiffany of SNSD, who was actually voted best legs in Korea according to some poll...






















Don't get it twisted ladies, she is not a super model. She's only 5'3. But thanks to her being an A+ student of The Golden Ratio, she looks like a model right? So, your first homework assignment: Put down the doughnut. Second homework assignment: Get your ass to the gym. Third homework assignment: Stop complaining about how much you want to eat that doughnut and eat a damn apple. Class dismissed...

~Body Jakeover, Go to class. Tighten that ass

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A Bodybuilder's Prayer

When you've lost all motivation, when the cookies and french fries have taken over, when your New Year's resolution is long forgotten, you kneel down, and you pray...

"Our Arnold, whose arms are heavy,
Vascular be thy veins,
Nine sets of lunges, ten reps be done,
To add girth as it is to strengthen.
Give us this day our daily protein, and forgive us our fats,
As we forgive those who eat fat too.
And lead us not into overtraining, nor deliver us pizzas,
For thou art the king of the dumbell, the power clean, and the steroids forever,
Amen."

~ Body Jakeover, GET SEXY

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Turn OFF the Cellulite

Cellulite. If you have it, light is typically not your friend. So, how do you turn off the cellulite?

There are various creams, treatments, herbal remedies, etc., all geared towards getting rid of cellulite, but before you go spending any money on these products, just realize that putting money towards these products is about as smart as hiring a fitness model who has cellulite. THEY DON'T WORK. If they did work, then cellulite wouldn't really be an issue, would it?

To get rid of cellulite, you have to understand what exactly cellulite is. By definition, cellulite is the appearance of bumps or dimples in the skin, usually around the thighs or ass, otherwise known as, "cottage cheese". Cottage cheese rarely ever refers to anything sexy. So what causes this cottage cheese like appearance? Simply put, it's adipose tissue, aka, FAT. That's right, all cellulite truly is, is lumpy deposits of fat, made visible through the skin.

Thus, if you want to get rid of cellulite, you need to get rid of the french fries, pizzas, sodas, and whatever the hell else it is that you kids eat these days, and replace it with a healthy diet full of lean proteins, plenty of water, and a fitness regimen consisting of muscle building and toning exercises that focus in on the problem areas. RUNNING ALONE WILL NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM. Easy right?

So now that I have found the cure for cellulite, get your dimply ass off the couch, do some squats and lunges, eat some lean chicken breast, and enjoy having sex with the lights on again.

~Body Jakeover - Bedroom light ON, cellulite OFF

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Have You Jaked-off Today? Learn to Speak Jakeover

Definition: Jake-off - v. 1. To workout or exercise. 2. To eat nutritious foods. 3. To engage in healthy behavior.
n. 1. A client of the Jakeover. 2. A healthy, fit individual.


- I had grilled chicken for dinner, and egg whites for breakfast.
Translation: I Jaked-off last night, and I Jaked-off this morning too.

- I've been running on the treadmill for an hour and I still have miles to go.
Translation: I've been Jaking-off for an hour and I still can't finish.

- That girl had some toned glutes so I hired her to be my personal trainer.
Translation: That girl had a tight ass so I let her Jake me off.

- All of the junk food in my kitchen got thrown out by my nutritionist!
Translation: I just got robbed by some f***ing Jake-off!

- I did yoga in my bed this morning.
Translation: I Jaked-off all over my sheets.

- My mom gave me candy but saw me eating carrots instead.
Translation: My mom just caught me Jaking-off.

- My workout partners are tired, I'll just go home and workout alone.
Translation: These girls are beat, I'll just go home and Jake-off by myself.

- If you won't let me eat the colorful Mexican dish, the least you could do is steam me some vegetables.
Translation: If you won't let me eat the pink taco, the least you could do is Jake me off.

- "Everybody Loves Raymond" was playing at my gym so I watched it while lifting weights.
Translation: I Jaked off to Ray Romano.


~ Body Jakeover, Have you Jaked-off today?

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No Pecs, No Sex

Fitness needs diet like dating needs sex. Think about it. If you date someone, without ever getting laid, you're pretty much wasting your time right? All that hard work, and no benefits? Fitness is the same way. If you spend hours in the gym, without ever eating appropriately, those hard spent hours are going to waste.

I see it all the time. People in the gym, probably more often then I even go, busting their ass, but still looking like they haven't gotten laid in years. The problem is, most people don't know WHEN and HOW to eat with regard to their workouts, so they never get the results that they want, no matter how hard they try. Now I can't buy hookers for everyone, but I can tell you this; Follow this routine and watch your muscles grow:

- Pre-workout snack - Utilize COMPLEX CARBS for energy (fruit smoothie, yogurt, whole grains, etc.)
- WORKOUT
- Post-workout meal - Utilize PROTEIN to repair and build muscle (eggs, chicken, fish, lean beef, etc.)

You: But Jake, shouldn't I eat a full meal BEFORE the gym? That way, I'll burn it off when I work out.
Me: Stop talking.

You need to eat a meal centered around a protein, within 1 hour AFTER working out. This is when your metabolic rate is at its highest. Also, when you workout, you're essentially damaging your body, causing little micro-tears in your muscles and losing valuable nutrients through sweating. In order to repair these damages and replenish these nutrients, you need to eat protein, as well as fruits/veggies on the side. This whole damaging and repairing process is how muscle is built.

Without a proper diet and routine, you can work out as much as you want but you'll never get as lean and tone, or as jacked as you truly want to be, and you will be left frustrated, just like when you spend countless time and dollars to wine and dine a girl, only to be kicked to the curb without ever reaping any of the benefits. I mean, c'mon, you're really going to order the lobster and then just bounce? Either get the salmon or pay for your own damn lobster. That is all.

~ Body Jakeover, GET SEXY

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Versace Doesn't Make Birthday Suits

So you're thin, you run on the treadmill 3,4,5 times a week, AND you're eating right, yet you still aren't getting the magazine cover results that you want? Girls, sure you can fit into size 2 jeans, and guys, sure you can wear the slim fit suits....but when the clothes come off, the show's over. I mean, have you ever really examined the body of someone who JUST runs excessively for exercise? They kind of look like they just escaped from a refugee camp. When it comes to my clients, rocking the slim fit suit is NOT enough...they have to be able to rock the birthday suit too. So what's the deal?

Well, the deal is, while cardio is great, and I'm NOT knocking cardio, it is only ONE aspect of sexy, and it can only get you so far. You see, when you run on a treadmill for an hour, you may burn 500+ calories. But, when you step off the treadmill, you're done burning calories. So, when you go home and park your ass on the couch to watch Jersey Shore, your ass is NOT burning calories anymore. Meanwhile, while I'm sitting on my couch watching Jersey Shore, I'm actually burning calories. How?! No, I am not fist pumping in my living room. The reason I'm burning calories by doing practically nothing is because the muscle raises my metabolism, and basically burns the calories for me.

Explanation - Scientifically speaking, muscle cells have twice the metabolic activity of fat cells. Think of it this way...A Honda Civic can go much, much further on a tank of gas than a Ferrari, right? This is because the Ferrari has a bigger engine and more "muscle", so it burns way more fuel, aka, "calories". Now what would you rather drive? A Ferrari or a Civic? Unless you're a 14 year old asian kid, you probably said Ferrari.

Solution - Build LEAN muscle! No need to get jacked, just lean, tone muscle. How? Core strengthening, resistance training, weight lifting, boxing/kickboxing, pilates, etc. Switch it up! Because a skinny body looks good in jeans, but a lean, muscular body looks good NAKED! And if you're lousy in the sack like I am, hey, at least you look good.

~ Body Jakeover, GET SEXY

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